So! Another cinematic dream. VERY FUCKING TRAGIC *LOL*
Basically it started out in this ... sorta alternate-reality. It was a modern 21st century world in terms of infrastructure and technology, but socioeconomically kinda 19th centuryish -- sharp class divides, not much in the way of upward mobility from humble roots, a comparatively large unskilled labor base, a comparatively smaller merchant class, and a very small noble elite.
Anyway, I think I was one of the unskilled laborers. My day seemed to consist mostly of hanging out on the street hoping for work from my betters *LOL* At the start of the dream! I got picked off the street by some noblewoman-type and her entourage for a manual-labor type job. And it seemed to be mostly moving stuff around. Maybe she was moving? Or reorganizing? Anyway, so I'm lugging shit back and forth with said noblewoman directing me around personally. And frankly, she was fucking hot. I can't remember what she looks like now! But -- slender, arrogant and elegant. And pretty soon, there's subtle but distinct chemistry going on, though with this total 'way outta your league' vibe from her side, and I end up doing all this extra work just to stick around. We may have also gotten it on, but it's hard to tell cuz ... it's one of those cinematic dreams where it's left kinda 'did they or didn't they?'
But eventually! She pays me with this sort of disdainful thank-you, then sends me off.
Then! The next day! She walks by where I usually loiter in hopes of work, and is obviously looking for more help. But! She basically ignores the fuck out of me. Which isn't altogether unexpected! But I'm still like, hey! So I go after her and ask her if she needs anything else. And she blows me off and takes some other dude back, and I'm like, GRUMP.
So this goes on for a while. Sometimes she'll come and pick me out of the group, and I'd go lug shit around for her, and there'd be chemistry and possible seckz, and sometimes she'll pick someone else, but whatever happens -- every time I see her the day after, she's cold as fuck and acts like she doesn't know me at all. But meanwhile every time we do get together, the attraction between us is growing stronger and stronger and getting more and more emotionally entangled.
So finally one day she pulls the don'tknowyou shit again I'm just like WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. And she kinda blows me off and walks away, and I follow her, and grab her by the arm and drag her off to some alleyway where we're alone.
And I'm like, "Okay, I might be poor and unlanded and untitled, but I still have my pride. And you can't just jerk me around time and again only to pretend nothing happened at all. I understand a need for discretion, but you can't expect me to just sit there and watch you bring some other guy home for godknowswhat whenever you decide you're going to be a bitch, rehrehreh!"
And like -- eventually I sort of run out of steam, and we're all standing there and I'm all disheveled and angry and then suddenly, of course, we're just like MAGNETGLOMPATTACKMAULFACE and there's all this passion and lust and in the middle of it I'm like, OKAY, NO, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN. You can't just do this and then pretend nothing happened!
And she pulls back and!
SHE HAS FANGS. SHE'S SOME KINDA VAMPIRE.
And I'm like WTF. And she's like "You want the truth? Do you want the truth? Look at what I am. I'm a monster. I'm incapable of ever returning your feelings. Every time I feel attraction, or attachment, I forget who you are." And then she bursts into tears! And is like, "If you feel anything for me at all, you have to kill me. End my suffering! Put me out of my misery!"
And I'm like AUGH NO. And she's like DO IT. And I'm like I CAN'T. And -- commence desperate embracing, anguished sobs, etc -- but even as she's going through that she's feeling, so of course she's forgetting, and I know it and she knows it and I realize -- well, for one thing, there's no way I can kill her. And for another -- she might be sad right NOW, but she'd forget every time, and go on with her life. And if I killed her! It'd be selfishness, not mercy.
So basically I'd decided to just let her go! And at that point, I woke up.
The end!
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
...but i keep having bizarre ones i wanna put down somewhere!
first up! the pot-assassin dream.
so i dreamt i was some sort of assassin. and i was kinda in a game or something. it was ... hm. honestly the world looked a bit like some early first person shooter, a sort of pixelated feel to the scenery? but it also had a sort of RPG feel. like a medieval village. only we weren't medieval.
at any rate, as mentioned, i was an assassin, and i was there to kill someone. and kill them i did! very expertly! after that i could loot their corpse, a la game. so i found that he had this sorta knapsack. and when i opened it up, it was stuffed full of pot. pot in little baggies, at that.
so i'm like SCORE. and i sit there with this bag full of pot and i'm trying to figure out how to sample it -- smoke it, bake it into a brownie, whatever. but then i start worrying! what if it's crappy pot? what if it makes me paranoid? so i'm sitting there thinking about how to try a small amount to make sure it wasn't shit, annnnnd that's when i woke up.
--
12/11/10:
oh hey, i just found this. i wrote this AGES ago (had this dream ages ago, too), but forgot to post it. alas, i forgot what my other dreams were. but the assassin one was pretty lawl.
first up! the pot-assassin dream.
so i dreamt i was some sort of assassin. and i was kinda in a game or something. it was ... hm. honestly the world looked a bit like some early first person shooter, a sort of pixelated feel to the scenery? but it also had a sort of RPG feel. like a medieval village. only we weren't medieval.
at any rate, as mentioned, i was an assassin, and i was there to kill someone. and kill them i did! very expertly! after that i could loot their corpse, a la game. so i found that he had this sorta knapsack. and when i opened it up, it was stuffed full of pot. pot in little baggies, at that.
so i'm like SCORE. and i sit there with this bag full of pot and i'm trying to figure out how to sample it -- smoke it, bake it into a brownie, whatever. but then i start worrying! what if it's crappy pot? what if it makes me paranoid? so i'm sitting there thinking about how to try a small amount to make sure it wasn't shit, annnnnd that's when i woke up.
--
12/11/10:
oh hey, i just found this. i wrote this AGES ago (had this dream ages ago, too), but forgot to post it. alas, i forgot what my other dreams were. but the assassin one was pretty lawl.
this dream was from 11/08. this is the gmail i typed to jess the morning after i dreamt it *LOL*
--
dude, i had the most AWESOME, EPIC, STORYLINE dream last night. it was so awesome that when the alarm woke me, i lay there just trying to engrave as much of it into my brain before it slipped away *LOL* i still lost big chunks of it, as well as the awesome dream-logic that tied it together, but this is what i remember (doubtlessly with waking-logic tying the parts together) --
i was like... a member of this huge family, part russian aristocracy, part sicilian mafia, part roman aristocracy. as in, ANCIENT ROMAN *LOL* i mean, the "feel" of it was very Godfather, but at the same time we lived in like this huge dacha-type estate out in the country, and there was a bit of a late 19th century feel to it all. but the cars and technology seemed to be from the mid-to-late 20th century. and at the same time there was a pirate-y/naval feel to the family, because our firepower lay in huge, enormous ships that were sort of reminiscent of 17th century galleons on steroids, as well as biplanes. so it was like this giant mishmash of eras and stuff.
anyway, my grandfather was the patriarch of the family, and i was his firstborn grandson and therefore heir to the family, but i was sort of a prodigal son, and there were like... TONS of other cousins, some near, some very very distant, many of whom were in higher favor than me. i had grown up abroad or something, so while i was theoretically the first in line, i actually wasn't very close to my grandfather, and in my absence my snaky cousins had been currying favor.
okay, that's the setup. now the action!
at the beginning of the dream, i was returning to my grandfather's estate after years and years away from the fold. i was going back there after a long long time because i think my grandfather's foster son (who was inexplicably german, even though i was pretty sure we were either roman or russian) was visiting as well, and he decided to call all the brood back. so i take this LONG trip, from early morning train ride to this car drive through a gorgeous countryside in the afternoon, all the way to the seashore where the estate is by evening.
once i'm there it turns out my best friend was apparently one of my first cousins, but in my dream he was actually an illegitimate child or something, or at least a son of a previous marriage (his mother being not of the family), so that even though he was theoretically more or less next in line to me, he was excluded from the 'lineup'. his brother, however (in my dream he had a brother, not a sister *LOL*), was a fullblooded grandson, and was essentially my rival. and once i see this, i get all competitive and i kinda decide i'm going to stay until i reclaim my birthright.
some opening shots are fired -- this is all murky for me now so i can't remember exactly what happens, but all the scheming is kinda under the surface, and at the surface there's just this almost-imperceptible tension between me and my main rival of a cousin. meanwhile there's a big celebration in honor of the foster grandson, who's totally oblivious to the undercurrents around him, and like, night after night of festivities.
sometime in the course of those festivities, i meet this chick who i believe is like, the LOVE OF MY LIFE. or maybe i'd brought her with me from abroad. i'm not totally clear, because she's not actually the LomL *LOL* but i think she is! and we're all In Love. also in the dream's cast of hot females are 1) this sort of cheerfully slutty but good-hearted chick, and 2) this sort of distant, elegant, ice queen chick who i can't really read, but i suspect might be jostling for position in the family too, and therefore one of my dangerous rivals.
and yes, they're both DEFINITELY my dream-cousins. but for the sake of my sanity i'm gonna tell myself they are veryveryvery distant cousins *LOL* and anyway! ROMAN/RUSSIAN ARISTOCRACY! KEEP IT ALL IN THE FAMILY! WAUGH!
*gets over it*
so, yes. while opening shots are getting fired and i'm getting reintroduced to grandfather, i'm also kinda wasting all my time dallying with the LOML. and then!!! during one of the big fancy parties, the LOML gets kidnapped or something. like, my best friend comes to me totally grim and tells me the LOML has disappeared. and that i'd received a sort of sadistic serial-killer-game sort of phone call with clues and whatnot, which my best friend had received instead of me because i'd been at the party but he was excluded.
so we break off our partying to deal with the crisis. and for some reason i'm completely sure it's the hot ice queen chick who's responsible for all this (rather than the more obvious suspect of my #1 rival, aka best friend's half-brother), so i go to confront her in like this... posh drawing room type place, and i'm totally furious. and we yell at each other for a while, hurling blame and recriminations and yeowza mega sexual tension, until suddenly we kinda OMGMAGNETGLOMP together. insert very hot sex. and then afterwards, rather guilty about my untimely betrayal of the KIDNAPPED LOML, esp cuz there's sort of a time limit on the whole thing, we set out in search of her.
this part kinda gets a little fuzzy again. somehow the german fostercousin is helping, as is my best friend, and we're like... tromping the beach (where there are some super-posh... ... i dunno, glass houses? *LOL* sorta a cross between a lifeguard station, a see through beach cabin, and a greenhouse) and the streets of this sorta london-esque city, and all the while subtle sparks are flying between me and the icequeen (including this sorta poignant moment where we all link hands to cross a dangerously busy street -- apparently in my dream, STREETS ARE HOMICIDAL!! -- and then afterwards, the two of us hold hands a little longer than necessary without either of us making any mention of it), and i'm like, lustlustlust, guiltguiltguilt.
eventually it's well into the night, and we kinda give up and go home. more sex occurs in illicit corners of the house, and then afterwards i'm like, torn between this guilt that i'm cheating on the girl that's been KIDNAPPED and is possibly GETTING KILLED RIGHT NOW, and this utterly inescapable realization that in fact, kidnapped girl is not the LOML, the ice queen is. and once i realize that, there's like, no guilt. i'm just UBER HAPPY -- but at the same time i had this odd feeling that the happy wouldn't last? so, to take advantage of the moment, more sex happens.
so anyway. then! i think it's like the next morning, or at least time to search again. and then -- it's blurry again, but i think the general gist is the ex-LOML DIES. so i fly into this rage of guilt and grief, and i blame the true LOML for it, and we basically suffer an extremely bitter breakup.
so now i'm single again, with one dead ex-LOML and one angry LOML. a few days or weeks go by in my dream. the german goes home to germany, while i stay at my grandfather's estate. more scheming occurs, and gradually i wake up to the fact that hey, it's probably the best friend's half brother that's behind this mess. meanwhile, in vicious petty-nesses, i go and sleep with the slutty cheerful chick, while the true-LOML/ice queen goes and vengeance-sleeps with the half-brother. which of course makes me UTTERLY FURIOUS. anyway, lots and lots of competitive sex occurs at this point, complete with me telling myself i'm totally not in love with the LOML and whatnot.
meanwhile, on the plotting front, things are building to a head. and when a showdown basically becomes inevitable, i go to confront the LOML again about her potential role in the schemes (ostensibly, anyway), but of course as soon as we're alone together (this time in one of the uberposh bathrooms, where i think she was putting on her perfume or something, cuz there were little glass vials everywhere), i'm like, totally overcome with omglust and we MAGNETGLOMP together again. and as YET MORE SEX occurs, i'm just thinking -- omfg, LOML, WITHOUT A QUESTION.
and then! i think the poor slutty-cheerful-nice-chick walks in on us! and i'm like ACK! and she's like WAH! and then of course i go chasing after her, and she's like, WAH, i knew you never loved me, but i never thought you were just USING ME! WAH!!! and i'm like aw but i think you're nice! and she's like F U, LEAVE ME ALONE!
so i do. and i go back to the LOML, and we kinda sit together gloomily, trying to figure out what to do next, and trying to figure out where the other stood, exactly, on the whole power-grab.
then!!! i get news (again from bestfriend, the messenger of bad things!) that the poor sluttycheerfulnice chick has been kidnapped! and it's like the same deal -- we have a set amount of time to free her or she dies. and we're tromping through the streets again, but then the killer (my bestfriend's halfbro?) CHEATS, the bastard, or at least pretends to cheat, and we get a phone call WAY ahead of schedule that it's too late and we've failed. and i go fuming back to the estate to kill the smug bastard once and for all -- and i walk in on yet another grandiose ball because it seems the ever-celebrated german fostercousin has returned.
and -- i run into him, and he's like finally getting a sense of the tumult beneath the exterior. and he's like, "Your people are really very complex, aren't they?"
and my alarm goes off. AND I NEVER FIND OUT HOW IT ENDED!!! *LOL*
--
dude, i had the most AWESOME, EPIC, STORYLINE dream last night. it was so awesome that when the alarm woke me, i lay there just trying to engrave as much of it into my brain before it slipped away *LOL* i still lost big chunks of it, as well as the awesome dream-logic that tied it together, but this is what i remember (doubtlessly with waking-logic tying the parts together) --
i was like... a member of this huge family, part russian aristocracy, part sicilian mafia, part roman aristocracy. as in, ANCIENT ROMAN *LOL* i mean, the "feel" of it was very Godfather, but at the same time we lived in like this huge dacha-type estate out in the country, and there was a bit of a late 19th century feel to it all. but the cars and technology seemed to be from the mid-to-late 20th century. and at the same time there was a pirate-y/naval feel to the family, because our firepower lay in huge, enormous ships that were sort of reminiscent of 17th century galleons on steroids, as well as biplanes. so it was like this giant mishmash of eras and stuff.
anyway, my grandfather was the patriarch of the family, and i was his firstborn grandson and therefore heir to the family, but i was sort of a prodigal son, and there were like... TONS of other cousins, some near, some very very distant, many of whom were in higher favor than me. i had grown up abroad or something, so while i was theoretically the first in line, i actually wasn't very close to my grandfather, and in my absence my snaky cousins had been currying favor.
okay, that's the setup. now the action!
at the beginning of the dream, i was returning to my grandfather's estate after years and years away from the fold. i was going back there after a long long time because i think my grandfather's foster son (who was inexplicably german, even though i was pretty sure we were either roman or russian) was visiting as well, and he decided to call all the brood back. so i take this LONG trip, from early morning train ride to this car drive through a gorgeous countryside in the afternoon, all the way to the seashore where the estate is by evening.
once i'm there it turns out my best friend was apparently one of my first cousins, but in my dream he was actually an illegitimate child or something, or at least a son of a previous marriage (his mother being not of the family), so that even though he was theoretically more or less next in line to me, he was excluded from the 'lineup'. his brother, however (in my dream he had a brother, not a sister *LOL*), was a fullblooded grandson, and was essentially my rival. and once i see this, i get all competitive and i kinda decide i'm going to stay until i reclaim my birthright.
some opening shots are fired -- this is all murky for me now so i can't remember exactly what happens, but all the scheming is kinda under the surface, and at the surface there's just this almost-imperceptible tension between me and my main rival of a cousin. meanwhile there's a big celebration in honor of the foster grandson, who's totally oblivious to the undercurrents around him, and like, night after night of festivities.
sometime in the course of those festivities, i meet this chick who i believe is like, the LOVE OF MY LIFE. or maybe i'd brought her with me from abroad. i'm not totally clear, because she's not actually the LomL *LOL* but i think she is! and we're all In Love. also in the dream's cast of hot females are 1) this sort of cheerfully slutty but good-hearted chick, and 2) this sort of distant, elegant, ice queen chick who i can't really read, but i suspect might be jostling for position in the family too, and therefore one of my dangerous rivals.
and yes, they're both DEFINITELY my dream-cousins. but for the sake of my sanity i'm gonna tell myself they are veryveryvery distant cousins *LOL* and anyway! ROMAN/RUSSIAN ARISTOCRACY! KEEP IT ALL IN THE FAMILY! WAUGH!
*gets over it*
so, yes. while opening shots are getting fired and i'm getting reintroduced to grandfather, i'm also kinda wasting all my time dallying with the LOML. and then!!! during one of the big fancy parties, the LOML gets kidnapped or something. like, my best friend comes to me totally grim and tells me the LOML has disappeared. and that i'd received a sort of sadistic serial-killer-game sort of phone call with clues and whatnot, which my best friend had received instead of me because i'd been at the party but he was excluded.
so we break off our partying to deal with the crisis. and for some reason i'm completely sure it's the hot ice queen chick who's responsible for all this (rather than the more obvious suspect of my #1 rival, aka best friend's half-brother), so i go to confront her in like this... posh drawing room type place, and i'm totally furious. and we yell at each other for a while, hurling blame and recriminations and yeowza mega sexual tension, until suddenly we kinda OMGMAGNETGLOMP together. insert very hot sex. and then afterwards, rather guilty about my untimely betrayal of the KIDNAPPED LOML, esp cuz there's sort of a time limit on the whole thing, we set out in search of her.
this part kinda gets a little fuzzy again. somehow the german fostercousin is helping, as is my best friend, and we're like... tromping the beach (where there are some super-posh... ... i dunno, glass houses? *LOL* sorta a cross between a lifeguard station, a see through beach cabin, and a greenhouse) and the streets of this sorta london-esque city, and all the while subtle sparks are flying between me and the icequeen (including this sorta poignant moment where we all link hands to cross a dangerously busy street -- apparently in my dream, STREETS ARE HOMICIDAL!! -- and then afterwards, the two of us hold hands a little longer than necessary without either of us making any mention of it), and i'm like, lustlustlust, guiltguiltguilt.
eventually it's well into the night, and we kinda give up and go home. more sex occurs in illicit corners of the house, and then afterwards i'm like, torn between this guilt that i'm cheating on the girl that's been KIDNAPPED and is possibly GETTING KILLED RIGHT NOW, and this utterly inescapable realization that in fact, kidnapped girl is not the LOML, the ice queen is. and once i realize that, there's like, no guilt. i'm just UBER HAPPY -- but at the same time i had this odd feeling that the happy wouldn't last? so, to take advantage of the moment, more sex happens.
so anyway. then! i think it's like the next morning, or at least time to search again. and then -- it's blurry again, but i think the general gist is the ex-LOML DIES. so i fly into this rage of guilt and grief, and i blame the true LOML for it, and we basically suffer an extremely bitter breakup.
so now i'm single again, with one dead ex-LOML and one angry LOML. a few days or weeks go by in my dream. the german goes home to germany, while i stay at my grandfather's estate. more scheming occurs, and gradually i wake up to the fact that hey, it's probably the best friend's half brother that's behind this mess. meanwhile, in vicious petty-nesses, i go and sleep with the slutty cheerful chick, while the true-LOML/ice queen goes and vengeance-sleeps with the half-brother. which of course makes me UTTERLY FURIOUS. anyway, lots and lots of competitive sex occurs at this point, complete with me telling myself i'm totally not in love with the LOML and whatnot.
meanwhile, on the plotting front, things are building to a head. and when a showdown basically becomes inevitable, i go to confront the LOML again about her potential role in the schemes (ostensibly, anyway), but of course as soon as we're alone together (this time in one of the uberposh bathrooms, where i think she was putting on her perfume or something, cuz there were little glass vials everywhere), i'm like, totally overcome with omglust and we MAGNETGLOMP together again. and as YET MORE SEX occurs, i'm just thinking -- omfg, LOML, WITHOUT A QUESTION.
and then! i think the poor slutty-cheerful-nice-chick walks in on us! and i'm like ACK! and she's like WAH! and then of course i go chasing after her, and she's like, WAH, i knew you never loved me, but i never thought you were just USING ME! WAH!!! and i'm like aw but i think you're nice! and she's like F U, LEAVE ME ALONE!
so i do. and i go back to the LOML, and we kinda sit together gloomily, trying to figure out what to do next, and trying to figure out where the other stood, exactly, on the whole power-grab.
then!!! i get news (again from bestfriend, the messenger of bad things!) that the poor sluttycheerfulnice chick has been kidnapped! and it's like the same deal -- we have a set amount of time to free her or she dies. and we're tromping through the streets again, but then the killer (my bestfriend's halfbro?) CHEATS, the bastard, or at least pretends to cheat, and we get a phone call WAY ahead of schedule that it's too late and we've failed. and i go fuming back to the estate to kill the smug bastard once and for all -- and i walk in on yet another grandiose ball because it seems the ever-celebrated german fostercousin has returned.
and -- i run into him, and he's like finally getting a sense of the tumult beneath the exterior. and he's like, "Your people are really very complex, aren't they?"
and my alarm goes off. AND I NEVER FIND OUT HOW IT ENDED!!! *LOL*
so i've decided not to attempt to 'catch up' in my blog. if you're reading this, you probably know me and the rough state of the damonian. therefore, there's no need. yeah.
i've had a buncha weird dreams lately. probably not enough sleep/sleeping at weird hours/too much gaming/too much reading. i tend to have weird vivid dreams when i play a lot of games and/or read a lot of books. as with a lot of my dreams, they have this strange undertone of significance, and sometimes menace. why do my dreams always feel significant to me? i wonder what bizarre synthesis of neural connectivity causes the gibberish of a brain clearing itself for the next day to seem important.
y'know, i bet lots of people feel like their dreams are significant. why else would there be so many schools of dream interpretation, etc? and who knows, maybe they are. not in like a telling-of-the-future way, but more in the ... 'this is the raw contents of your brain, regurgitated and blended up for your perusal' way.
anyway. without further ado. my weird dreams:
*
first one happened like... what was it, like saturday night or something? anyway, i dreamt that my dad was getting remarried. and my mom was totally cool with this, and in fact wanted to do something nice for my dad and his new wife, and like... film the ceremony or something. and of course, i was recruited to help.
the thing was, though, that this wasn't just some regular turn-on-the-camcorder film. it was all long and involved. first, all these people would try to stop me. and i'd have to, like... fend them off. fight 'em off! droves of them! this is obviously inspired by something or other in WoW. then, i'd also have to assemble the camera out of a tube of epoxy and a strangely harmonica/shaving-razor-head-shaped headunit. yeah, i don't know wtf either. and last of all, my dad was getting remarried not in a church like a sane person, but deep inside the georgia world convention center, where i recently went for the neurosci2006 conference.
so, the GWCC is fucking enormous IRL. it's like literally a mile from one end to the other, all underground, 5 stories or something sinking into the ground. huge. HUUUUUGE. and in my dream, it was every bit as huge, only the escalators from one story to the next narrowed and widened bizarrely. so it was hard to get around.
now, me and my mom had practiced the shoot (including attackers etc) several times and we finally got it right. then on the day of the wedding, i was there, ready to do this thing, when my mom was like, OH SHIT! I FORGOT THE CAMCORDER!
i was like WTF, how can you FORGET? and by now the ceremony had started -- some people were singing on stage, and the wedding itself was about 5 minutes away. so my mom's like, try to find another one! and i'm like, well, fuck. so i run out of the huge dark auditorium, and i start running all over the GWCC with its psychotic escalators.
i find a tube of epoxy, but this stuff is a dime a dozen in my dream so i throw it down and keep looking for the headunit. about another half mile away i find a headunit! i was so happy that i just grabbed it off the shelf and started running back, looking for the epoxy, and it wasn't until i found the epoxy and reattached the headunit to the tube that i realized maybe i should've paid for it. but by now it's too late. so i run, run, run back to the auditorium where my dad's sitting with his new bride -- which i might add, looked exactly like this 6' tall, extremely unattractive woman who's the project manager for my stanford PI (i was wondering wtf my dad saw in her) -- and naturally, i get there right as the wedding ends.
i was so. angry. you have no idea. i was FUMING in my sleep. after all that trouble, it was over! after all that practice, fighting off hordes of wedding-movie-crashers, and the epoxy/headunit marathon, it had come to naught. i was so mad, in fact, that i woke up. end of dream.
*
ok, bored of writing this, heh. more later!
i've had a buncha weird dreams lately. probably not enough sleep/sleeping at weird hours/too much gaming/too much reading. i tend to have weird vivid dreams when i play a lot of games and/or read a lot of books. as with a lot of my dreams, they have this strange undertone of significance, and sometimes menace. why do my dreams always feel significant to me? i wonder what bizarre synthesis of neural connectivity causes the gibberish of a brain clearing itself for the next day to seem important.
y'know, i bet lots of people feel like their dreams are significant. why else would there be so many schools of dream interpretation, etc? and who knows, maybe they are. not in like a telling-of-the-future way, but more in the ... 'this is the raw contents of your brain, regurgitated and blended up for your perusal' way.
anyway. without further ado. my weird dreams:
*
first one happened like... what was it, like saturday night or something? anyway, i dreamt that my dad was getting remarried. and my mom was totally cool with this, and in fact wanted to do something nice for my dad and his new wife, and like... film the ceremony or something. and of course, i was recruited to help.
the thing was, though, that this wasn't just some regular turn-on-the-camcorder film. it was all long and involved. first, all these people would try to stop me. and i'd have to, like... fend them off. fight 'em off! droves of them! this is obviously inspired by something or other in WoW. then, i'd also have to assemble the camera out of a tube of epoxy and a strangely harmonica/shaving-razor-head-shaped headunit. yeah, i don't know wtf either. and last of all, my dad was getting remarried not in a church like a sane person, but deep inside the georgia world convention center, where i recently went for the neurosci2006 conference.
so, the GWCC is fucking enormous IRL. it's like literally a mile from one end to the other, all underground, 5 stories or something sinking into the ground. huge. HUUUUUGE. and in my dream, it was every bit as huge, only the escalators from one story to the next narrowed and widened bizarrely. so it was hard to get around.
now, me and my mom had practiced the shoot (including attackers etc) several times and we finally got it right. then on the day of the wedding, i was there, ready to do this thing, when my mom was like, OH SHIT! I FORGOT THE CAMCORDER!
i was like WTF, how can you FORGET? and by now the ceremony had started -- some people were singing on stage, and the wedding itself was about 5 minutes away. so my mom's like, try to find another one! and i'm like, well, fuck. so i run out of the huge dark auditorium, and i start running all over the GWCC with its psychotic escalators.
i find a tube of epoxy, but this stuff is a dime a dozen in my dream so i throw it down and keep looking for the headunit. about another half mile away i find a headunit! i was so happy that i just grabbed it off the shelf and started running back, looking for the epoxy, and it wasn't until i found the epoxy and reattached the headunit to the tube that i realized maybe i should've paid for it. but by now it's too late. so i run, run, run back to the auditorium where my dad's sitting with his new bride -- which i might add, looked exactly like this 6' tall, extremely unattractive woman who's the project manager for my stanford PI (i was wondering wtf my dad saw in her) -- and naturally, i get there right as the wedding ends.
i was so. angry. you have no idea. i was FUMING in my sleep. after all that trouble, it was over! after all that practice, fighting off hordes of wedding-movie-crashers, and the epoxy/headunit marathon, it had come to naught. i was so mad, in fact, that i woke up. end of dream.
*
ok, bored of writing this, heh. more later!
Here's a whole SLEW of dreams for you freudian analysts. I'm pretty sure they're all triggered in some way by Final Fantasy X, which I've been playing like a MADMAN.
It's weird. All my dreams lately have had this heaviness, no matter how ridiculous the subject matter. They've all felt somehow IMPORTANT to me, even though I can't say why -- and kinda dire too, ominous somehow.
Anyway.
==
First -- the sea/air/apocalypse dream.
So I dream I was on board this ship. Like this huge, creaking, beautiful galleon, brilliant, gold and white and accents of all colors with vaguely celtic-influenced designs, like on Final Fantasy games.
The wind filled the sails and we were off. I was belowdecks, but it was gorgeous, like the belly of a really huge, fancy plane, with these portholes you could look through. And though we started in the broad daylight, it was twilight and then night almost immediately.
Then we dove.
I mean, DOVE. Like a submarine. Our bow angled down, and down we went, not like stones but like a javelin thrown into the sea, spearing right into it. I held my breath on instinct. It wasn't necessary. I watched the light of the moon fade from ghostly blue-green to nothing, and then all that lit things up were the ghostly blue-greens of bioluminescence all around us. We were going so fast, faster than bullet trains, but somehow I saw everything. These giant squid in the distance with their ten spiraling arms. Schools of fish arcing about, silent and afire with their own luminosity. Huge fantastic creatures you never even expect to see in a dream.
Just like that it was over. We surfaced -- more than surfaced -- and we were flying. It was some sort of magic ship. We zoomed up and up, through the clouds, the earth dropping away beneath us - it was day again, daybreak, the sun off the ocean like sun off shattered glass. Over the clouds, above the atmosphere. We still didn't need air to breathe.
But then the world below exploded into flame. Firestorms were raging across the surface of the earth, spiderwebbing across it, and then sweeping across it. Everything blue and green and white and gold turned black and red. It was the end of the world, and we had been chosen, I guess, to survive, and to see and remember the wonders of the world in what time was left. And since the world is 70% ocean, that's all we had time to see.
At least, that's what I made of it.
==
Second dream. A little bit lighter, at least superficially. I dunno though. It still "felt" heavy.
I was an intergalactic trucker. Don't laugh, now. I drove (piloted?) this long, sleek, space-bullet-train of a supertruck. Everyone did. We were like silver snakes winging through space. We kinda competed too. Who could get there fastest. Who could drag the most cargo. I guess in the future being a trucker's kinda glamourous, almost - there wasn't any feel of ourselves being "poor white trash"; there wasn't any shame in the vocation. We were kinda the flyboys of the future.
So it turns out big celebrities trucked too occasionally for fun. Word came that Nicole Kidman (yeah, Nicole. Kidman.) was on the same route I was on. So me and my partner (we flew in shifts) were like, hell yeah, let's go see her! We ramped up the throttle and cycled up the engines and went roaring past all these other sleek silver space-trucks.
But when we caught up to her coordinates she was THRONGED by other fans. They were clustered all around her and we couldn't get a glimpse. So we decided to cut ahead to the next pit stop and see her there.
It turned out pit stops were like fancy airplane terminals, all frosted glass and dark subdued carpeting, curving glass walls and moving sidewalks. And VIP chambers. And not being VIP, we couldn't get in to see Nicole. We saw her entourage from afar, moving behind the screen to the VIP chillout room. And that was it.
So we were disappointed, but we had to make time so we left.
Then like... a million miles out, my partner was flying, and I was in the back, which looked amazingly like a Boeing 747's cabin. And I just suddenly decided, and without doubt, that I HAD to go back. I HAD to see her. Just then my friend put the truck on cruising autopilot or something and came back to get a drink, and I was like, man, we have to go back. We HAVE to. It's a once in a lifetime chance.
So we turned right around and flew back the way we came, and I woke up.
==
This one's hands-down the most bizarre one.
I dreamt I spent the day with one of my online friends, except she wasn't QUITE my online friend. I think maybe she was online friend + Lulu, but that's just because I have this feeling she was mixed with this char from FFX.
Anyway, I can't remember what we talked about and whatnot, but there was a certain, er, chemistry to it, I guess. I don't know. I don't remember this part well -- I only guess at the chemistry because of what happened later on, and my reaction to it.
So then I went home.
And lo and behold, there I was married to like... this SAGGING HAG of 40-plus years. And suddenly it was night, and we were in bed in that side-by-side, untouching way of longmarried people who've kinda fallen out of love, and it was dark. My wife was really, really angry over my seeing this friend of mine. And she was accusing me of all sorts of infidelities (and this is why I thought there mighta been something--) and I kinda felt too guilty to say much?
And then! She fucking fell asleep. No kidding. I mean, she was yelling at me, and JUST as I was going to respond, she fell asleep on me. I was really pissed off. And man, sleeping, she was... ugh! So saggy.
You know the way people get, when it's not like their skin is wrinkled, but their whole face seems kinda loose and ill-fitted? That's how she was. The corners of her mouth were downturned, her brow was lined, she generally looked like she was in a perpetual grouch. And while some women are gorgeous even when they scowl, this was NOT the case. As utterly shallow as this sounds, I felt kinda horrified and disgusted to be there.
Then she rolled over on me and snuggled up against me. And UGH. I was lying there stiff as a board (and not like THAT, you sickos...), arms tight against my sides, thinking... what do I do? What do I do? Can I just push her away? She's my WIFE. I can't bear for her to be this close to me, though.
And then I woke up.
==
Last dream. This one I just had. The weird thing is I woke up and went to be the bathroom twice, and it continued. Usually my dreams don't do that.
Anyway, I dreamt I was back at my parents' house in San Diego. I was driving my dad's 4Runner (he had a 4Runner back then), and the brakes failed completely. Even the handbrake didn't do shit. To stop, I had to maneuver it up a hill, and then it'd start going backwards if I wasn't careful. It also behaved really, really unpredictably.
Cut scene. I was in an auditorium or a theater, waiting for the show to start. My friends from high school were there. Their friends were there. Everyone was there, and some online friends too. Everyone, that is, except for the one that I was waiting for.
Cut scene. Back to my parents' house, but now it was night, and dark and gloomy. I was still waiting for this one. I had another car, too. It was this little green Civic. My mom had a car and they gave her one for free, so I was driving the Civic around for now, until the 4Runner's brakes got fixed. Except the Civic was parked deep in the garage, which had suddenly grown to accommodate 4 cars double-parked. So I couldn't get the Civic out.
My dad had been talking to me at some point (before or after? I can't remmeber) about getting new brake pads, and whether I wanted big fat racing pads. I was like, no, I just need cheap ones that'll work.
Anyway, the house was empty now, and dark the way it gets at twilight with no lights on, or in the middle of a huge storm when the electricity goes out. The person I was waiting for (who was it? Unsure.) didn't come, but someone else did.
Suddenly it was like geurilla wars - I was scrounging around the garage for something to defend myself with, because somehow I was sure I was going to get into a massive fight. And I was testing the edges of gardening tools, shovels and shears and scissors and even broken PVC piping, and then I went out to face my enemy.
She was just laughing at me, though, and was like - are you still waiting? They've decided not to meet here, you know. We're meeting at the theater now. And I was furious, because the 4runner wasn't running, and the Civic was stuck in the garage, so I was essentially stuck at home.
And then I woke up.
It's weird. All my dreams lately have had this heaviness, no matter how ridiculous the subject matter. They've all felt somehow IMPORTANT to me, even though I can't say why -- and kinda dire too, ominous somehow.
Anyway.
==
First -- the sea/air/apocalypse dream.
So I dream I was on board this ship. Like this huge, creaking, beautiful galleon, brilliant, gold and white and accents of all colors with vaguely celtic-influenced designs, like on Final Fantasy games.
The wind filled the sails and we were off. I was belowdecks, but it was gorgeous, like the belly of a really huge, fancy plane, with these portholes you could look through. And though we started in the broad daylight, it was twilight and then night almost immediately.
Then we dove.
I mean, DOVE. Like a submarine. Our bow angled down, and down we went, not like stones but like a javelin thrown into the sea, spearing right into it. I held my breath on instinct. It wasn't necessary. I watched the light of the moon fade from ghostly blue-green to nothing, and then all that lit things up were the ghostly blue-greens of bioluminescence all around us. We were going so fast, faster than bullet trains, but somehow I saw everything. These giant squid in the distance with their ten spiraling arms. Schools of fish arcing about, silent and afire with their own luminosity. Huge fantastic creatures you never even expect to see in a dream.
Just like that it was over. We surfaced -- more than surfaced -- and we were flying. It was some sort of magic ship. We zoomed up and up, through the clouds, the earth dropping away beneath us - it was day again, daybreak, the sun off the ocean like sun off shattered glass. Over the clouds, above the atmosphere. We still didn't need air to breathe.
But then the world below exploded into flame. Firestorms were raging across the surface of the earth, spiderwebbing across it, and then sweeping across it. Everything blue and green and white and gold turned black and red. It was the end of the world, and we had been chosen, I guess, to survive, and to see and remember the wonders of the world in what time was left. And since the world is 70% ocean, that's all we had time to see.
At least, that's what I made of it.
==
Second dream. A little bit lighter, at least superficially. I dunno though. It still "felt" heavy.
I was an intergalactic trucker. Don't laugh, now. I drove (piloted?) this long, sleek, space-bullet-train of a supertruck. Everyone did. We were like silver snakes winging through space. We kinda competed too. Who could get there fastest. Who could drag the most cargo. I guess in the future being a trucker's kinda glamourous, almost - there wasn't any feel of ourselves being "poor white trash"; there wasn't any shame in the vocation. We were kinda the flyboys of the future.
So it turns out big celebrities trucked too occasionally for fun. Word came that Nicole Kidman (yeah, Nicole. Kidman.) was on the same route I was on. So me and my partner (we flew in shifts) were like, hell yeah, let's go see her! We ramped up the throttle and cycled up the engines and went roaring past all these other sleek silver space-trucks.
But when we caught up to her coordinates she was THRONGED by other fans. They were clustered all around her and we couldn't get a glimpse. So we decided to cut ahead to the next pit stop and see her there.
It turned out pit stops were like fancy airplane terminals, all frosted glass and dark subdued carpeting, curving glass walls and moving sidewalks. And VIP chambers. And not being VIP, we couldn't get in to see Nicole. We saw her entourage from afar, moving behind the screen to the VIP chillout room. And that was it.
So we were disappointed, but we had to make time so we left.
Then like... a million miles out, my partner was flying, and I was in the back, which looked amazingly like a Boeing 747's cabin. And I just suddenly decided, and without doubt, that I HAD to go back. I HAD to see her. Just then my friend put the truck on cruising autopilot or something and came back to get a drink, and I was like, man, we have to go back. We HAVE to. It's a once in a lifetime chance.
So we turned right around and flew back the way we came, and I woke up.
==
This one's hands-down the most bizarre one.
I dreamt I spent the day with one of my online friends, except she wasn't QUITE my online friend. I think maybe she was online friend + Lulu, but that's just because I have this feeling she was mixed with this char from FFX.
Anyway, I can't remember what we talked about and whatnot, but there was a certain, er, chemistry to it, I guess. I don't know. I don't remember this part well -- I only guess at the chemistry because of what happened later on, and my reaction to it.
So then I went home.
And lo and behold, there I was married to like... this SAGGING HAG of 40-plus years. And suddenly it was night, and we were in bed in that side-by-side, untouching way of longmarried people who've kinda fallen out of love, and it was dark. My wife was really, really angry over my seeing this friend of mine. And she was accusing me of all sorts of infidelities (and this is why I thought there mighta been something--) and I kinda felt too guilty to say much?
And then! She fucking fell asleep. No kidding. I mean, she was yelling at me, and JUST as I was going to respond, she fell asleep on me. I was really pissed off. And man, sleeping, she was... ugh! So saggy.
You know the way people get, when it's not like their skin is wrinkled, but their whole face seems kinda loose and ill-fitted? That's how she was. The corners of her mouth were downturned, her brow was lined, she generally looked like she was in a perpetual grouch. And while some women are gorgeous even when they scowl, this was NOT the case. As utterly shallow as this sounds, I felt kinda horrified and disgusted to be there.
Then she rolled over on me and snuggled up against me. And UGH. I was lying there stiff as a board (and not like THAT, you sickos...), arms tight against my sides, thinking... what do I do? What do I do? Can I just push her away? She's my WIFE. I can't bear for her to be this close to me, though.
And then I woke up.
==
Last dream. This one I just had. The weird thing is I woke up and went to be the bathroom twice, and it continued. Usually my dreams don't do that.
Anyway, I dreamt I was back at my parents' house in San Diego. I was driving my dad's 4Runner (he had a 4Runner back then), and the brakes failed completely. Even the handbrake didn't do shit. To stop, I had to maneuver it up a hill, and then it'd start going backwards if I wasn't careful. It also behaved really, really unpredictably.
Cut scene. I was in an auditorium or a theater, waiting for the show to start. My friends from high school were there. Their friends were there. Everyone was there, and some online friends too. Everyone, that is, except for the one that I was waiting for.
Cut scene. Back to my parents' house, but now it was night, and dark and gloomy. I was still waiting for this one. I had another car, too. It was this little green Civic. My mom had a car and they gave her one for free, so I was driving the Civic around for now, until the 4Runner's brakes got fixed. Except the Civic was parked deep in the garage, which had suddenly grown to accommodate 4 cars double-parked. So I couldn't get the Civic out.
My dad had been talking to me at some point (before or after? I can't remmeber) about getting new brake pads, and whether I wanted big fat racing pads. I was like, no, I just need cheap ones that'll work.
Anyway, the house was empty now, and dark the way it gets at twilight with no lights on, or in the middle of a huge storm when the electricity goes out. The person I was waiting for (who was it? Unsure.) didn't come, but someone else did.
Suddenly it was like geurilla wars - I was scrounging around the garage for something to defend myself with, because somehow I was sure I was going to get into a massive fight. And I was testing the edges of gardening tools, shovels and shears and scissors and even broken PVC piping, and then I went out to face my enemy.
She was just laughing at me, though, and was like - are you still waiting? They've decided not to meet here, you know. We're meeting at the theater now. And I was furious, because the 4runner wasn't running, and the Civic was stuck in the garage, so I was essentially stuck at home.
And then I woke up.
had a dream!
and it was really weird. like, hmm. it was sorta about this girl at work? sorta? but not really. it just looked like her. she's chinese, but northeastern chinese, so she looks not quite like the 'stereotypical' chinese girl. like her nose is kinda long and aquiline (but she's really cute). she's the one that comes to work in skater garb. like baggy jeans and long lean sweatshirts. in general she's very long and lean. kinda street/skater chic.
anyway! so like! it was her, but not her. and we were hanging out, and she wanted to go (because she had something to do or something) but i wanted to make her stay and since she was right there, i decided i oughta kiss her to make her stay? (yeah, i know, random ideas.) but she were laying in the grass and i was sitting crosslegged and her head was in my lap, but like, face-up so if i bent down to kiss her we were upside-down to each other, right?
so i kept missing! i closed my eyes and i kissed her on the nose instead! so i laughed and tried again, and kissed her on the nose again! so i was thinking, all right, she must be MOVING or something, cuz i can't have THAT bad an aim, so i pulled her up and turned her around to face me and managed to kiss her on the mouth, but i was so afraid i'd miss again i didn't put anything into it, if you know what i mean, so it was like this chaste little peck on the lips and when i pulled away she was looking at me like, uh, that was it?
so i kissed her again. oh man, it was good. heh! i'm like, reflexively licking my lips just thinking about it. i distinctly remember thinking, ok, i oughta open my mouth this time, put some tongue into it and i did, and her mouth was all soft and kinda half-nervous opening back to mine and her lip gloss was like, sweet. is there sweet lip gloss? well, her lips were sweet, hahahaha. so here i am deepening the kiss and like, sucking her lower lip (cuz it was sweet!) and then suddenly she puts her hand on my chest and pushes me off and goes, "I know what you're trying!" - laughing, like - "but it's not gonna work! You don't get ten minutes!"
and then i woke up!
and it was really weird. like, hmm. it was sorta about this girl at work? sorta? but not really. it just looked like her. she's chinese, but northeastern chinese, so she looks not quite like the 'stereotypical' chinese girl. like her nose is kinda long and aquiline (but she's really cute). she's the one that comes to work in skater garb. like baggy jeans and long lean sweatshirts. in general she's very long and lean. kinda street/skater chic.
anyway! so like! it was her, but not her. and we were hanging out, and she wanted to go (because she had something to do or something) but i wanted to make her stay and since she was right there, i decided i oughta kiss her to make her stay? (yeah, i know, random ideas.) but she were laying in the grass and i was sitting crosslegged and her head was in my lap, but like, face-up so if i bent down to kiss her we were upside-down to each other, right?
so i kept missing! i closed my eyes and i kissed her on the nose instead! so i laughed and tried again, and kissed her on the nose again! so i was thinking, all right, she must be MOVING or something, cuz i can't have THAT bad an aim, so i pulled her up and turned her around to face me and managed to kiss her on the mouth, but i was so afraid i'd miss again i didn't put anything into it, if you know what i mean, so it was like this chaste little peck on the lips and when i pulled away she was looking at me like, uh, that was it?
so i kissed her again. oh man, it was good. heh! i'm like, reflexively licking my lips just thinking about it. i distinctly remember thinking, ok, i oughta open my mouth this time, put some tongue into it and i did, and her mouth was all soft and kinda half-nervous opening back to mine and her lip gloss was like, sweet. is there sweet lip gloss? well, her lips were sweet, hahahaha. so here i am deepening the kiss and like, sucking her lower lip (cuz it was sweet!) and then suddenly she puts her hand on my chest and pushes me off and goes, "I know what you're trying!" - laughing, like - "but it's not gonna work! You don't get ten minutes!"
and then i woke up!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
