why do i do this to myself?

i want to die.

for some reason it seemed like a good idea to me to procrastinate until i'm almost out of time (again). then it seemed like a good idea to simply pull an all nighter to convince myself to not do this then. THEN it seemed like a good idea, since i was pulling an all nighter anyway, to not start working until, y'know, nighttime.

ergo i started writing this grant report at about 8pm last night.

okay, more like 10pm.

now -- one giant coffee, 3 espressos, one smaller coffee, one beer, one glass hpnotiq and 7 single-spaced page with tinyassfont later...

it's 8am. almost.

i'm fucking dead. my stomach feels all liquid from all the caffeine i ingested. i'm dizzy, my eyeballs are dry, and it's a bright new day.