impulse.

i'm fucking restless.

i've been restless all day. i don't know why. well, yeah, i do. it has to do with fucking politicians and their inane babble. if the people in charge wanted your info, don't you think they'd ask for it? and if you really wanted to help, don't you think you should tell it to them? not to national tv?

fucking vultures...fucking parasites...

i can't sleep...

it's 12:35, granted, which isn't that late, but i do have to be up really early. really. fucking. early. but i've got all this energy in me. it's just crunched up tight inside me, this ball of white-hot destructive/chaotic energy, and i feel like i can't sleep until i do SOMETHING.

i wanna beat the shit out of someone

i wanna fuck

i wanna break something. shatter it to dust.

is this healthy? no, maybe not...fuck it...fuck being healthy...i should've gone out tonight. i broke up with sara, just this fuckin monday. been a great week for me, yeah. no one to fuck. shouldn't fight. can't afford to break anything.

just so dissatisfied...like something's askew, something's gone wrong, and the only way to right it is to unleash this knot inside me.

maybe this is why people loot stores after a disaster. not out of malicious intent, or out of desperation, even. just to feel the glass break. just to feel shit break. just to let this thing out, one way or another. i KNOW this is why people fuck like weasels after a disaster. it's a release. and it's a return to instinct. it's like something's fucked up so bad your human intellect is blown away. all that's left is base impulses. fuck. fight. hunt. run.

damn it.

damn it!

i wanna say something profound. but there's nothing to say. so here's me, signing off. gonna take a shower. try to get some sleep.